Although incredibly irritating and often embarrassing I am a little envious of the children’s ability to have a total meltdown.

My 4 year old just had a tantrum. Not just your average run of the mill tantrum, oh no, this was the injured dolphin flop with high pitched squall scream. A good 12 ft, impressive distance to flop and flap ones self. Why, because I told him he had to hug his sister and could not build a cage for the dog out of his brothers beds.

I have seen my 8 year old spin in the air and collapse on the ground instantly spinning and screaming. Total exorcist style, over crackers.

What would happen if I had a tantrum….

Would they cower in terror? Could I pee in peace? Would I break a hip? … Would they call for help or take full advantage of the snack stash? Too risky.

So I just watch emotionless until they calm down enough that I can send them to bed.

How relieving it would be to have a proper hissy fit. Allow all the anger, fear, and frustration to just burst through. Arms flailing and feet kicking all while screaming. However, I am a grown up. Well I’ve been informed I’m a grown up, I am supposed to be in charge here anyway.

Maybe I can demand a giant where the hell is this thing going to sit teddy bear. His sole purpose would be to give me a place to have the ultimate hissy fit. Maybe I’ll just stick to coffee till wine time and a antidepressant at bed.

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